Fullness of Joy

Dear son,

Another passage of scripture that has taken on tremendous meaning to me since your passing concerns joy. Within the church we often speak of joy and how it is ultimately the much sought after end result that everyone wants. After all, man is that he might have joy, right? But there are only a few places in all of the scriptures where a fullness of joy is spoken of.

One of these is contained in the book of Alma, when Ammon is rejoined with his brethren and learns of their success in converting the Lamanites to the gospel. After considering the totality of their experience since leaving home and how much success the Lord had blessed them with, he says "behold, my joy is full."

Another of these comes from Nephi as he describes his mother and father's trials while he and his brothers were away retrieving the plates of brass from Laban. He tells of how his mother fully believed that her sons had been killed and how Lehi had tried to comfort her. Thus, it's no surprise that upon their return  the sight provokes strong feeling from both parents, "And when we had returned to the tent of my father, behold their joy was full, and my mother was comforted."

Even more surprisingly, there is only one place in all of the scriptures where the Lord Himself says that His joy is full. It doesn't come after the completion of His atoning sacrifice. It doesn't come after He takes His physical body back thru resurrection. It doesn't come as He reappears to His disciples or as He initially appears to the Nephites descending like an angel from the heavens.  Instead it comes after He requests that all of the little children be brought to Him and He kneels down with and prays for them. Only then does Jesus arise and say, "now behold, my joy is full." Then He goes on to weep so great was His joy.

My point in sharing all of this son, is that while joy can be experienced alone (any person can experience joy inside him or her self), a fullness of joy can only come about when one's loved ones are present (especially one's children). Think of it, Ammon experienced joy, but the fullness of it didn't come until he was with his friends (whom he deemed his brothers). Nephi's parent's experienced joy, but the fullness of it didn't come until their sons were with them alive and well. Even the Savior Himself experienced joy, but the fullness of it didn't come until He was in the midst of the children.

You see my son, I've experienced joy in my life before. Even since your death I've had moments where I've felt some measure of joy. But the only time I've ever felt the fullness of it was while you were with us. Things seemed so complete then...like nothing was missing. But now our moments of joy are plagued. In much the same way that Nephi described how his sins groaned within his heart and wouldn't allow him to fully rejoice (see 2 Nephi chapter 4) so too does your absence cause groanings within our hearts that prevent our moments of joy from being full.

Now whatever joy we may experience will only be partial because your absence will always prevent it from being full.

We miss you son. Things just aren't the same without you.

With Love,
Your Father