Assignment Fulfilled

I can report fully at this time that the assignment I received has been fulfilled. During the course of its fulfillment my understanding of myself was broadened, my appreciation for my Heavenly Father was deepened and my progress toward finding peace with your death was furthered. Let me explain.

At the beginning of every year, your mother and I discuss whether we will travel to Utah to visit members of my family during the coming year. We examine all of the associated logistics that such a trip would require: the cost of airplane tickets to and from Salt Lake, the amount of time we would be required to take off work, where we would stay during our visit, and what dates we could use, given our existing schedule of events throughout the year.

Nearly every year we ultimately decide against making the trip. Some years it appears too expensive given our financial constraints. Other years are too heavily scheduled (either at work, at church or otherwise) to take the necessary time away. Furthermore, in recent years we had purposely avoided making the trip because many of my family hadn’t seen us since several years before your birth, sickness and death. To us, the time before you joined our family seems like a former lifetime…a distant memory. Indeed, your birth (and certainly your death) changed us in such profound ways that we don’t consider ourselves the same as we were back then. As such, we weren’t sure how anyone (the two of us or my family members) would handle a visit so soon after your passing. For these and other reasons we hadn’t visited Utah since mid-2009, and even that was a short trip made primarily to attend my 10-year High School Reunion…we saw very few family members.

Brittany and I had the same discussion earlier this year. Eventually we arrived at the same conclusion as in years past partially because of the cost and partially because of the aforementioned uncertainties involving your birth, sickness and death. Both Brittany and I were just beginning to feel some small sense of acceptance and peace regarding your passing. We both knew that such peace was fragile and could be easily lost. As such, we decided that this year was not an appropriate time to venture into any new emotional territory. Instead we would continue on our course and try to retain what peace we had won up to this point. We could not risk the emotional uncertainties associated with visiting my family in Utah. We felt comfortable with this decision and went on with our daily lives.

Then, during the Priesthood Session of last April’s General Conference of the church as President Ucthdorf began speaking, the Spirit of the Lord took hold of my consciousness. As I was carried away in the Spirit, I was given several clear communications. As each come into my mind I clearly saw it taking place…as if it had already happened and I was merely viewing the record of it:

First, I was told that it was time. Brittany, Alexis and I needed to visit Utah this year.

Second, I was told that we should make our trip during the last week of May (time I had previously set aside to sit for the Level II CFA Exam, but which had since be freed up by my decision to delay the exam until the following year).

Third, I was told to structure our trip differently than previous trips. Instead of staying in one central location (almost exclusively Mom and Dad’s house) and having family members come visit us there, we were to spend a full day with each of my siblings in their homes with them. Also, that if they had room for us to sleep in their home that night we should do so.

Fourth, I was told to request from each familial unit the opportunity for us to sit in with their family scripture study and family prayer.

Finally, I was told that I was to share a spiritual thought with each of them. For my subject, the Spirit would only tell me to study the lives of Alma the Younger and the Sons of Mosiah…and that I would know the spiritual thought when I came across it.

After these thoughts left my mind that night, I came to myself just as Elder Uchtdorf was ending his talk with his testimony. I had no recollection of the content of his remarks. I went home that evening and shared my experience with Brittany. The next day we began making preparations for our trip.

First, we needed to plan out the rough draft of a schedule including what day we would arrive, which day we would spend with which family, where we would sleep each night and when we would return home to NY. We made several revisions and eventually concluded on what we thought would be the best plan. The next day I sent a personal email to each of my siblings telling them that we would be visiting Utah and asking if we could spend the designated day with their family (making sure to request permission to sit in on their family scripture study and prayer). Several changes were made to accommodate some of the families’ already-scheduled events and then our visit’s schedule was complete.

Next, Brittany and I began studying in depth the lives of Alma the Younger and the Sons of Mosiah. We read the scriptural introduction to them, followed by of their experience with the Angel who called them to repentance. We read of how this experience changed them and began their conversion processes. As we began reading each of their experiences after conversion to the gospel, the Spirit began to touch our hearts until we knew we had procured the designated spiritual thought the Spirit had spoken of. I will not share that spiritual thought at this time, but will instead leave it for another letter.

As the designated date arrived, we made our preparations and traveled back to Salt Lake. During the course of the next ten days, we spent time with each of my siblings and their families. It was a great experience for us and we thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. We shared the designated spiritual thought with most of my siblings as we visited with them, but there were a few occasions when time simply disappeared and we missed our opportunity. Although we regretted this, we felt as though our time with each family had been well spent.

At the conclusion of our trip, we traveled back home to NY and I began writing this letter. As I got into it though, I had the strong feeling that the assignment Brittany and I had been given had NOT be fulfilled, as several of my siblings never heard our spiritual thought. I resolved to type up the spiritual thought and send it to them, thus attempting to fulfill our assignment. Unfortunately, time passed by quickly, life became busy and I eventually relegated this task to the back of my mind.

A few months later during Stake Presidency Meeting, I felt impressed to share this spiritual thought at the beginning of the meeting (I currently serve as the Stake Executive Secretary). I did so and we had a good discussion about the concept and the experiences of the participants involved. A few weeks later, our Stake President asked me to deliver the same spiritual thought in talk form at the upcoming Stake General Priesthood Meeting. I spent the necessary time to carefully compose the talk, which was based upon the spiritual thought I had been directed to share with my family in Utah, and eventually delivered the talk successfully. Afterward, I realized that I now had the text version of our spiritual thought and thus, decided to send it to each of my remaining siblings…thus fulfilling our assignment from the Spirit. I did so and can now report that Brittany and I have fully complied with the assignment we received from the Spirit earlier this year.

We traveled back to Utah during the designated dates.

We structured our trip as we were directed.

We shared in family scripture study with most of the families and family prayer with all of them.

Finally, we shared our spiritual thought (in person or via my talk) with all of them.

On a side note, after this was all accomplished the words of Nephi came to my mind “I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.” In order to help me and Brittany fulfill the commandment we were given, the Lord directed the Stake President to assign me to speak at Stake General Priesthood Meeting (in addition to whatever other designs He had for my speaking at that meeting). Whatever else this may have accomplished, it also allowed me the opportunity to spend the necessary time to compose a text version of our spiritual thought, which I was later able to send out to each of my siblings. Truly the Lord “prepare[d] a way for [us to]…accomplish the thing we he commande[d] [us]”.

All in all, our trip to Utah was enjoyable. But it was hard not having you there with us.

We Love and miss you.